“You can never go too far wrong by doing what’s right.”
This is probably the first time since this blog has come into existence that I didn’t recount the last year before my birthday. Don’t get me wrong, I had plans; they just didn’t materialize into a post. But, fret not friends, I’m here with a (somewhat) detailed recap of what went down this year, and how it has left its mark, permanent and never changing.
26 was, simply, an experience–and every moment of it is fresh in my memory. It was hard, it was challenging, it was exhilarating, it was beautiful, and most importantly, it was all mine. Did I learn lessons? Yes, I did, and here they are:
Places mean nothing if you’re not there. You meaning me, the person living this life. If I am aware and present with my whole self, everything is fine. Every place is beautiful, a memory that will be cherished and pulled out often, flattened by pressing on the edges like a photograph, sharing it with others. If I’m not there, it means nothing.
Some things are hard and tough and will break your soul, but things need to break for new worlds to emerge. Haven’t you made an omlette?
There is a special strength in forgiving, and this year, I got to be the person who was forgiven, accepted and loved.
Apologies and anger can wreck lives if they are misplaced. Once you place it in the right place, on the right person, you allow yourself the space you need to grow, the air to breathe. This one lesson was a long time coming.
The same actions will not give different results. 26 was big on breaking patterns. It took a while to get here, but well, better late than never. This is not to say I’m 100% there yet, but at least I’ve started on this journey to correct the wrongs that had been ingrained in my behavior since time, and it is shocking how much fear of upsetting the ‘normal’ holds us back for standing up for ourselves.
The biggest lesson, friends, has been that fear might just be more dangerous that death itself.
26 and I were not friends, honestly. 26 was the strict professor who just wouldn’t give you one damn break, just kept coming at you for no reason, every single day, until the very, very end. But now you’re done, and moved one, and you can process the events a little better without the pain and hurt and utter discomfort clouding your judgement–and it all makes sense. Not entirely, and not always, but it does make sense. Most of the time.
27 is here, and it’s been a week of processing the changes (I’m still a *little* hungover from 26), and so far, it’s been better and worse, all at the same time.
We’ll see how it goes. Onwards and upwards!
Love,
Snigdha