Life Lessons: College Edition


You would think it gets easier, with time. The truth is, we get stronger.”

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You knew this was coming, right? Of course you did. When have I ever let slide a chance to take the ending of something and turn it into a poetic life lesson? Exactly never. And we’re talking about four long years of my life here, spent in the same institution with (more or less) the same people, of course I have a list of lessons that I’ve learnt, some harder to learn (and accept) than others.

Shall we? We shall. Here goes:

* Know when to hold on, and when to let go.

It takes equal amounts of courage to hold on to something/someone when you know there’s no right way this could end, or to simply let go when you want to stay, just a minute longer. I can say this, because I’ve done both. There’s really no way to know when it’s time to jump ship, or whether maybe you could still work it out–it’s a gamble that you need to make, consequences be damned.

 

* Be brave and unwavering

There’s really no other way to say this, so let me put it this way: to live and survive and be happy anywhere, the easiest way is to do what you feel is right, and stick with your choices. If your gut is telling you something, there’s a reason behind it that you might not understand at first, but it’s the right one. It’s the easiest thing in the world to not speak up when you should and ignore every little and/or large thing that may be unjust or unfair, but honestly, it doesn’t help you sleep that well.

 

* Cowards are often found in troupes

The funny thing about people who know they are wrong is that they somehow feel that if they have the support of a couple of more people (who, also, share the same twisted headspace), it will make everything that they do okay–which it doesn’t. The easiest way to dismiss them quickly is to simply call them out on their BS, because nobody can win any argument without logic, only with the help of judgements and curse words, no matter how hard they try. It’s an effective way, works every time.

 

* Be giving, for no reason at all

It’s cool to help others, especially if you know they might not have anything to give back to you. If nothing else, do it for a good night’s sleep and a clear conscience. Not all relationships have to be business transactions with an expiration date slapped on to them.

 

* Do not suffer in silence

This one took me a while to understand, and I do wish I had learnt this one earlier. Suffering in silence is hands-down the absolute worst thing that you could do to yourself, because nine times out of ten, the other party responsible for said suffering has no idea at all. Hence, save time and just let them know what’s up, exactly how you feel it, even if it may sound harsh/rude. They’ll get over it (I hope), and the issue will be resolved soon, without unnecessary sadness and/or sleepless nights, or both.

 

* Tell people you love them, as loudly and as many times as you can

It’s really simple: approach someone you love, and let them know how you feel. We waste so much time in trying to figure out the ‘right time’ to express ourselves, that we just let life pass us by like cars on a highway. Don’t do that. It’s ridiculous that we don’t do it as often and as much as we should, because just sending a random heart emoji to someone with no context can put a smile on their face. If that’s not a good enough reason, you need to update yourself to be kinder. Let people know of all the reasons you think they are awesome, because if nothing, it at least lets them know that even with all their flaws and blemishes, there’s still a whole lot of them to love and to cherish.

 

* Be capable of acquiring everything you want, on your own

This one’s been a big one for me since the first day of college, and I can say that I’m so, so glad I took all the decisions I did to be as independent as I could these last couple of years. Let’s be real: you’re going to want to do things for other people and/or for yourself, and it feels absolutely fantastic if you can do all said stuff without reaching out to someone else for help. It is hard and confusing at first, of course, but the key here is to keep trying (like with all other important things).

 

And lastly,

* Remember the good moments

I read somewhere, that ‘hate is how a soul commits suicide’, and I could not possibly agree more. When you are confined with the same people in a limited space, it is only human to have differences and/or arguments with them, and some of them blow way out of proportion–but you cannot let it stay that way. I can personally vouch for the fact that asking for and accepting apologies is the cure to every crack in your heart. Forgive people (even if they don’t ask for forgiveness), and say sorry to them, just for the simple reason of giving yourself peace, and most importantly, closure. Do it for yourself.

And always remember the good memories, the ones that very much so have the power to lighten up the darkest of times.


 

Thank you to those who have been around for the last four years, you know who you are and you know what you did. I hope you also know what you mean to me. ❤

And for the rest of you, you’re welcome.

Love,

Snigdha

 

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Book Talk: Words In Deep Blue, Cath Crowley


“Life does not always happen in the order we want.”

– Words In Deep Blue, Cath Crowley

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to another post fueled purely by my excruciating urge to share the magic of reading a book that leaves one speechless, and most of all, happy.

To give you some context, Words In Deep Blue is one of the six books that I bought on impulse (as a birthday present to myself) last October, but got around to reading it two days ago because we all know there is never enough time to read all the books we want. Honestly, life is a straight up jerk sometimes.

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This book had so much going on, I honestly had trouble just categorizing it into a single genre (imagine me stuttering to find words when people asked me what genre it belonged to). Essentially, Words In Deep Blue is a story of Rachel and Henry, who are both struggling to overcome the loss of things and people who have been at the center of their very existence for the longest time. This book explores the idea of loss and love in a very different way, with a bookshop at the center of it, a safe haven for all those looking to find answers when they are feeling absolutely and completely lost.

Most importantly though, the relatability factor of Words In Deep Blue is off the charts (I mean it). With its tones of magical realism and a well-rounded plot that does not leave a single thread untied, I highly recommend giving this one a read.

Leaving you with a couple of my favorite quotes from the book. If you do choose to read it, I hope you love it as much I did.

“We are the books we read and the things we love.”

“Our ghosts hide in the things we leave behind.”

“And if there is no hope of saving the things we love in their original form, we must save them however we can.”

“Sometimes, the end begins.”

See you soon. Till then, do whatever makes you happy.

Love,

Snigdha

How Did We Get Here?


Our lives are a series as well as a consequence of our choices, simultaneously; and God forbid if you make the wrong choice, be ready for life as you know it to go for a toss.

How did we get here?

This is, no joke, the only question I’ve asked myself for a couple of days now, every time I look back and try to find a singular word or feeling to describe the last four years of college. Maybe it’s the feels finally hitting me (about college coming to an end), or just the super-speed of time as it passes us by; but in any case whatsoever, it is a very valid (and very scary) question.

With some people, we got here by leaning on to each other, trying to urge each other to get through this one more day, and then one more, and then another.

With others, it was about appreciating the qualities that they couldn’t see in themselves, and definitely didn’t believe when you pointed it out to them. But hey, you try–that’s what good friends do, right?

With some, maybe it was just the timing finally clicking, albeit a little too late, and you realize, “holy Hell, where have you been?” 

With some, it was about comfortable silences and organic conversations that gave all parties involved memories to hold dear and cherish for the rest of their lives.

Mostly though, it has been about choices. Deciding to say something, because you had enough of the silence and the suffering that came along with it.

Deciding to not just feel, but also do something about it, because you knew nobody else was going to do it for you.

Making the choice to stay when you had every reason to leave, because you know better than most that it’s the people who stay that change lives, more than the ones who leave.

Deciding to be the bigger person when it was too easy to stoop down, and about not taking bullshit from anyone who did not have justifiable reasons to back it up.

Deciding to make the same choice, every day, despite it being the reason you went to bed crying the night before, because like most everything that’s good and important in the world, love is mostly a matter of choice.

Deciding to loosen your grip on things and accept help when you really needed it, and being able to return the favor to those who showed up and had your back during the bad times.

Deciding to keep promises to stand by others, even and especially when they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) do the same for you.

And finally (and very importantly), the last four years have been about just being present, in person and in mind, for every moment that has been, and not turning your back on any of it: the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the happy.

 

Sure, not all the decisions I’ve made have had the desired outcome, but each bad choice has given me a memory and/or a lesson that I do believe will count for something in the future. And every good choice? It’s given me either a precious memory, or a precious person (or both) that I shall cherish for the rest of my living days.

So, you know, this is how it happened. This is how we got here.

It’s been one crazy ride, my friends.

Love,

Snigdha