“I made her a promise; and when it mattered, I didn’t keep it.”
It’s mid-August, and with October fast approaching, it’s the time of the year again- the time to reflect, to take stock of the year gone by, and examine the scars and smiles it has left in its wake.
Last year, I was too shaken up to say anything, to recount the events, but I know now that not talking about something does not make it disappear; if anything it leeches away your power, your control.
So, let’s just get it out in the open: 26 has been hard, but not without reason. It has made me wallow in despair with no way out, but also made me deliriously happy. All the “oh my God, why is this happening to me” moments have had a reason, and I’ve started to recognize how any bad situation might be preparing me for the future.
I read once “life keeps repeating the lessons you don’t learn”, and I’m not beyond admitting that I’ve been repeating it to myself like a mantra as I wake up every morning and go through each day, sometimes barely holding onto dear life.
The thing is, it’s always the little things, the seemingly ordinary comings and goings, that matter the most in the end, when all is said and done. The big, earth-shattering, and obvious things are important, of course, but there is often a textbook way to go about them–when someone tells you they are sick, you frown a little, make a sad face, tell them you’re sorry. Textbook reaction, dictated by protocol and societal norms that have been drilled into us since we could understand. But how do you react when someone tells you they love pistachio ice cream when they are sad, and watch Gilmore Girls curled up in a blanket?
It’s about the little things. Always.
Fret not, I have a whole host of lessons learned that I plan to share over the next few weeks, leading up to the grand 27th birthday (maybe now’s the time to stop telling people how old I am?).