“You would think it gets easier, with time. The truth is, we get stronger.”
You knew this was coming, right? Of course you did. When have I ever let slide a chance to take the ending of something and turn it into a poetic life lesson? Exactly never. And we’re talking about four long years of my life here, spent in the same institution with (more or less) the same people, of course I have a list of lessons that I’ve learnt, some harder to learn (and accept) than others.
Shall we? We shall. Here goes:
* Know when to hold on, and when to let go.
It takes equal amounts of courage to hold on to something/someone when you know there’s no right way this could end, or to simply let go when you want to stay, just a minute longer. I can say this, because I’ve done both. There’s really no way to know when it’s time to jump ship, or whether maybe you could still work it out–it’s a gamble that you need to make, consequences be damned.
* Be brave and unwavering
There’s really no other way to say this, so let me put it this way: to live and survive and be happy anywhere, the easiest way is to do what you feel is right, and stick with your choices. If your gut is telling you something, there’s a reason behind it that you might not understand at first, but it’s the right one. It’s the easiest thing in the world to not speak up when you should and ignore every little and/or large thing that may be unjust or unfair, but honestly, it doesn’t help you sleep that well.
* Cowards are often found in troupes
The funny thing about people who know they are wrong is that they somehow feel that if they have the support of a couple of more people (who, also, share the same twisted headspace), it will make everything that they do okay–which it doesn’t. The easiest way to dismiss them quickly is to simply call them out on their BS, because nobody can win any argument without logic, only with the help of judgements and curse words, no matter how hard they try. It’s an effective way, works every time.
* Be giving, for no reason at all
It’s cool to help others, especially if you know they might not have anything to give back to you. If nothing else, do it for a good night’s sleep and a clear conscience. Not all relationships have to be business transactions with an expiration date slapped on to them.
* Do not suffer in silence
This one took me a while to understand, and I do wish I had learnt this one earlier. Suffering in silence is hands-down the absolute worst thing that you could do to yourself, because nine times out of ten, the other party responsible for said suffering has no idea at all. Hence, save time and just let them know what’s up, exactly how you feel it, even if it may sound harsh/rude. They’ll get over it (I hope), and the issue will be resolved soon, without unnecessary sadness and/or sleepless nights, or both.
* Tell people you love them, as loudly and as many times as you can
It’s really simple: approach someone you love, and let them know how you feel. We waste so much time in trying to figure out the ‘right time’ to express ourselves, that we just let life pass us by like cars on a highway. Don’t do that. It’s ridiculous that we don’t do it as often and as much as we should, because just sending a random heart emoji to someone with no context can put a smile on their face. If that’s not a good enough reason, you need to update yourself to be kinder. Let people know of all the reasons you think they are awesome, because if nothing, it at least lets them know that even with all their flaws and blemishes, there’s still a whole lot of them to love and to cherish.
* Be capable of acquiring everything you want, on your own
This one’s been a big one for me since the first day of college, and I can say that I’m so, so glad I took all the decisions I did to be as independent as I could these last couple of years. Let’s be real: you’re going to want to do things for other people and/or for yourself, and it feels absolutely fantastic if you can do all said stuff without reaching out to someone else for help. It is hard and confusing at first, of course, but the key here is to keep trying (like with all other important things).
* Remember the good moments
I read somewhere, that ‘hate is how a soul commits suicide’, and I could not possibly agree more. When you are confined with the same people in a limited space, it is only human to have differences and/or arguments with them, and some of them blow way out of proportion–but you cannot let it stay that way. I can personally vouch for the fact that asking for and accepting apologies is the cure to every crack in your heart. Forgive people (even if they don’t ask for forgiveness), and say sorry to them, just for the simple reason of giving yourself peace, and most importantly, closure. Do it for yourself.
And always remember the good memories, the ones that very much so have the power to lighten up the darkest of times.
Thank you to those who have been around for the last four years, you know who you are and you know what you did. I hope you also know what you mean to me. ❤
And for the rest of you, you’re welcome.