Phoenix


Hello, hello.

Welcome back to my personal corner on the Internet, and to July. By this time–after having barely survived through the first half of the year–most of us have gone back to our old selves, the ones we swore we would change in 2017 (like that ever happens). As far as New Year resolutions go, I’m not very optimistic, because I’m a believer in the ‘now or never’ line of thinking, but I whole-heartedly encourage all others who see the new year as a set of 365 chances that they can take to make their lives better.

Anyway. I digress from the point (as usual).

After six months of 2017 down the drain, if there’s one thing I can say, it’s this: to pick yourself up after a tragedy takes immense amount of strength, and sometimes, it takes a whole lot of time, too. The said tragedy could be anything, but the aftermath of all of them are the same: you feel you are broken on the inside, and nothing (and nobody) can piece you back together.

And you know what? You are right. Nobody else is going to patch you up and fix all the things that are wrong with you; you are going to have to do it yourself. Sure, it may take a ginormous amount of strength, and even more patience (along with sleepless nights, hysterical crying, and yelling at blank air), but you will get there.

A friend once told me that to be able to create a new reality for yourself, you should have the courage to break old patterns and habits. Breaking patterns is how new worlds emerge. It may sound scary, and it should because it is downright the scariest thing you will ever do in your life–giving up the known and familiar for The Unknown. But it needs to be done, and the good news is, you don’t have to do it alone.

We are born alone, we die alone, but we don’t have to fight alone. And take it from someone who has paid a visit to The Dark Side, you don’t need an army to help you back on your feet. Sometimes, having just one person you know will answer your calls at 2 AM when you’re having a breakdown, is more than enough (I love you, Nano). Also, it helps to have someone give you a not-so-subtle reality check, every once in a while.

The point is, things may never be just right, you know? But sometimes, they just get even worse, and you feel like you have lost all reason to live. Dying isn’t really an option, and you are stuck in this ugly place between living and not quite, with no way out. You want answers, you want justice, but most of all, you just want back whatever (or whoever) it is that you lost.

The only thing that you need to believe in at times like these, is this: it gets better. It does. You don’t have to believe me; just look back at your life, and I’m sure you’ll find many moments where you thought your life had ended, and yet, here you are. Hold on to that hope.

Be the phoenix, the one that rises from its own ashes, stronger and more beautiful than ever.

It’s now or never.

Love,

Snigdha

 

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Deserve Everything


I know, I am fully aware of the fact that I haven’t posted much these past few months except the end-of-the-month posts–and for that, I apologize. But I’m here now, and that’s what matters, right?

So, hi. Firstly, let’s just all take a moment to realize the fact that 2016 is soon going to breathe its last, which is absolutely freaking me out. It’s like every year comes with new and improved speed, and the minute you feel like you have found your groove, oops it’s January 1 again.

Damn, time. Stick to one gear. This isn’t Formula 1, don’t be showing off your racing skills.

Another thing that does not make me too glad is my inability to participate in the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo for short), thanks to the million exams that November comes with, one right after another. I have just been watching November fly right by for the past two years, while I study and make notes and write exams (and stalk other NaNoWriMo writers over on Instagram & Tumblr). It’s just sad, that’s all there is to it. It is just one of the many things that get sacrificed in the name of ‘hard work’ and ‘future’.

I get it, I really do; I understand that now is the time that you grind and work hard so that your future is secure and fulfilling, but on a day to day basis, it is difficult to continually remind myself of that. But hey, can’t complain, right?

Besides, the more work I put in now, the sooner I can start doing all the things that I truly love doing. Most mornings, when I feel my back hurting, the throbbing in my head so severe that my vision turns blurry, all I can think about is “I am so tired.” But despite what my body tells me, no matter how tired I feel, I know that I am more than that.

You know, of late, I feel like whatever I am doing now is going to have a direct and severe consequence on my future, which worries me and excites me, all the same. Slacking off is clearly not an option, and neither is dishonesty. I wear my pride like a shield, that keeps me from making bad choices, no matter how trivial they may seem. I take what I deserve, and I take only those things that I have worked for. It’s a thin line to walk, but I’ve seen my mother do it all my life, and I want to be just like her.

The point of this post is, if you want something, work hard for it. Do not wait around for someone to just hand it over to you, because success tastes sweeter than everything on this planet combined. To do that, you do not have to be lucky or smart; you just have to be deserving.

Like the wise Avett Brothers say:

nbcover1

I shall see you guys soon with the November lessons. Until then you know what to do: live like it’s now or never.

Love,

Snigdha

Superb 17 ♥


They say you have only one life, and it’s all set in stone, your destiny.

I say screw’em. 😉

Hi! I’m high on life (as you can very well see, I’m sure). Okay, something I’m waiting for? — 2013. New year is the best time of the year, no matter what you say. I just love the thrill, the excitement, the promises — every bit of it. It’s like clockwork; every 365 days, people smile all around the world with no specific reason, hoping for a better future. 

Everything’s the same (only better) these days, and I’m getting desperate to get over with school with each passing day. It’s like chewing a gum for the last few minutes before throwing it away.

Turning 17 has been eventful. Very eventful. USA, new friends, new perspective of seeing things — all this very new to me, and it’s a miracle I’ve survived everything! 🙂

Well, let’s hope it just keeps getting better from here.

 

Also, I’ve been missing someone a lot these days. It’s going to be a complete year on December 4, but I can tell you one thing — I’m standing at the same place with the same pain as a year ago.

I miss you, Tyler.

Love,

Snigdha ♥

Back To Normal. Sort of.


Now I know that human minds are like sieves; the sadness passes through it, and what remains is all that we want to remember. Another thing I realized in these past three days of immense (and numbing) pain is that you will always have someone to make you smile, even in the darkest of hours.

I have a Science exam on Monday, so I’ve studied for that, and writing a bit in whatever time I get. Half of My Heart (John Mayer) and What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts) is playing on loop around me.

Does this pass for normal? Please say yes. It takes a lot of hard work (and ton loads of coffee) to bring myself to such a state. Not to toot my horn, but I’ve done a pretty good job.

I fully intended to celebrate New Year properly this time (before Sunday, that was), and now after a lot of thinking on my part, I’ve decided not to cancel any plans. Birth and death is a natural process, Snigdha – my mom’s been telling me. I guess she’s right.

So I’m going to watch New Year’s Ever on 31st December, and then probably go for dinner with my family. I’m sure as hell not going to sit at home!

Tell me about your plans? And of course, Happy Holidays to every one!

Love,

Snigdha

It’s not easy- Life’s just worth it.


No one promised us life would be easy. They merely said it would be worth it. Worth all the pain, hardships, nonsense, memories and feelings.

Avra always says that I need to more optimistic. My mother says I need to let go of the rigidity. My best friends, Divija and Divya (similar names, I know) want me to get a little more diplomatic and abandon my often rude-and-ruthless ways of talking to people.

And honestly? Each one of them is right. One hundred percent correct. But you know what? In the end, that’s what I’m made of. Altering any one part of it would mean altering myself.

Before you disagree, let me tell you that today after talking to Muskaan and Srishti (we’ve been having arguments for over a while now) I realized there are a lot of things in myself that need amendment. Some in them, and a lot in me.

Them, I have no control over. On the other hand, I can very well change myself.

A few things that I’m going to work on from now on (with no guarantees, of course) are :-

* Keep your mouth shut: which is very hard for me. I love talking (pretty clear, given how much I rant), and this is definitely going to be tough.

* Be diplomatic: means not telling how ugly someone looks in orange sneakers. Easy peasy. I often tend to ignore such things.

* Behave: This I can do. I’ve always been well-mannered, but that was way earlier. Almost a year back. That part of me is still there somewhere, and it’s quite easy to bring to front.

For now, this should be enough. Of course I’ll keep adding to this list. Begins today. Right now. 😉

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have homework to do, three books to write and ‘Blue Bloods’ to read. See ya!

Love,

Snigdha ❤

 

P.S.- ‘Just Because Of You’ requires a new preface, and it will surely be posted in the next post.