No Promises


Hello, ladies and gentlemen (and Sagar, who wanted something to read with his evening tea), I’m back.

So, 2017 started, Dad (who was home for the holidays) went back to New York, and a brand new semester of college began while the temperature of Delhi has been—wait for it—freaking seven degrees.

Ah, well. That is how the glamorous life of an engineering undergrad is.

So, since I’ve been busy adjusting to life with college in the new semester (and getting my ass kicked, since I just went ahead got my books today, two week since classes started), I haven’t had the time to actually sit down and write–which in no way means I haven’t been writing. Here is where the power of technology comes in, because the Drafts folder in my phone is where all the magic is stored.

I picked out a select few out of the sea of written bits that have been dwelling in my phone, and have decided to share it with the world. Here goes, enjoy:

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#Freedom

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#AllTheBrightPlaces

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#Persevere

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And, another very special thing that is aimed at anyone and everyone who I have had the opportunity to love (family and friends alike), as well as to all those who I shall cross paths with, in the future.

If there’s anything that I’ve learnt in the last couple of years of college, it is that promises mean very little (if at all). Not all of them get to fruition, and sometimes, with good reason.

Hence, this is me, not promising you.

I don’t promise to keep you first always, because there are going to be times where other people will need me more than you.

I don’t promise to be with you all hours of every day, because there will be times where you need your space, and there may be days where I’ll be needing mine.

I don’t promise to support you in whatever you’re doing, because it’s my job to keep you from making dumb decisions that you shall only regret later.

I don’t promise to forgive you instantly every single time, because I’m stubborn as hell and my anger takes time to cool off.

I don’t promise to tell you everything, because there some things that just aren’t meant to be shared.

Most importantly though, I don’t promise to love you, because love is just a word that doesn’t quite describe us completely.

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You see, once a writer, always a writer. No matter how boring and uninspiring daily life is. Now please excuse me, I have a movie to watch.

Until next time, and remember: it’s now or never.

Love,

Snigdha

One Gone, 11 To Go


So. January ends today. Does anyone else feels like it was only a few days ago that we were celebrating New Year’s? No? Really?

Well, okay. I guess it’s only me, then. But I really do think that this month did whizz by in a blur of busy mornings and long, cold nights (I hate you, winter). And on Friday, while I was driving back home from college, I got stuck in terrible traffic for a good twenty minutes, already putting a kink in my good mood. Want to see? Here (do notice the Give Way sign that my fellow drivers conveniently chose to ignore):

Give Way

The cold has been turning my fingertips blue in the mornings these past couple of weeks, and you could only imagine the relief that has swept over me in waves when the sun decided to peek from among the clouds Saturday morning. And since that put me in a chirpier mood (and also because Mom had threatened me not to ‘just sit and read’), I made lunch.

Now, I’m just looking back at the past 31 days, trying to wrap my head around the fact that just how, within a split second, it went from December 31, 2015 to January 31, 2016. It’s Nano’s birthday next Sunday, and I’m losing sleep over it now. See, I’m a legendary planner, especially when it comes to surprises. Being a writer makes you uncannily observant, and that in turn helps me pull out a lot of good surprises from my pockets, if I want (if being the keyword here).

But with Nano? I’m positively out of my depths. One, she abhors surprises. And two, she’s a pretty hard nut to crack, almost impossible to impress. There are days when I actually try to think back and put my finger on what exactly it is about me that convinced her to let me in her life. Just, wherever did I go right in my life to find her?

God knows.

But that doesn’t mean I’m any less grateful to have her. I don’t even want to think about where I would be without someone as capable and fearless and honest as her in my life. She’s one exasperating, infuriating woman, always undermining herself in any and every given situation, but you just know it in your gut that she’s fully capable of being the rock what you could lean on when the water gets choppy.

If other people in my life lived up to be even one-tenth of a person that Nano is, life would be so much simpler. I mean, who doesn’t want to be the Queen of Awesome?

#NaniggyLove

Ah.

Besides reinforcing my love for my infuriating but indispensable best friend, January did its part in teaching me a few life lessons. There aren’t many, but there sure as hell as important:

#1. Do not ignore the voice in your head/heart, ever. It is talking to you for a reason.

#2. A day off, or a late start in the middle of the week can do wonders for your sanity. Take a break, every once in a while.

#3. Oregano makes everything taste freaking awesome.

Yep, that’s it. One month down, eleven more to go.

I realized yesterday I do not own a single hardcover, only paperbacks and ebooks, which pains my heart, really. I intend to set it right by the end of February (assuming I can catch Mom in the right mood, that is. Maybe I’ll cook her something nice), among other things. I started reading Jandy Nelson’s I’ll Give You The Sun, but haven’t even got halfway through it, but it doesn’t matter. It makes me nervous when I don’t have back-up to-be-read books. 😛

Okay. Time to go.

I’ll go finish all the work that I’m supposed to get done before Monday, and then go out for a walk or something. I’ve been feeling restless since morning.

Meanwhile, go make yourself happy. You’re worth all the effort in the world, you understand? Don’t listen to any blockhead you insists on convincing you otherwise. It’s now or never, ladies and gentlemen.

Love,

Snigdha

Playing the game.


The heart wants what it wants.

The heart wants what it wants.

The heart wants what it wants.

Damn it.

No, I’m not in love (jeez, slow your roll). It’s a song by Selena Gomez (I know, I know. I’m going soft) that I heard yesterday, and now can’t seem to stop listening to. It’s a weirdly sad song, and she’s crying way too much in the video, but it’s also very true.

Here, have a listen:

Get what I’m saying? I’m sure you do. There’s no doubt about the fact that when it sets its mind to it, the heart does actually want what it wants.

Exams are still on, and end on January 31st. Honestly, I just find it really difficult to believe that the entire first month of 2015 has just flown by amidst exams and nothing else.

It’s very sad, actually. There have been a few bright spots in this great expanse of bleary muddled waters, but only so many. It won’t be entirely incorrect to say that I am disappointed, despite being very careful to not jack up my expectations too much.

So, if I get disappointment in return for the least bit of expectations, you can imagine how bad it’s been of late. But, you know me. If there’s a game being set up, I don’t pass up playing it. If this is how it’s going to be, very well. Let the games begin. *cue drum roll* 😛

Also, if there’s anything that January has taught me, the first lesson of 2015, it is that little things matter way more than we give them credit for. One expression, one word, one move, one little detail could be the reason why your life suddenly makes a one-eighty.

There have been a couple other things that I want to share here, along with my Bucket List 2015, but that requires a lot of time, and guys, I still have to write three more exams. 😛

Let’s just hold our horses right here for a while. 😉

Meanwhile, go do whatever makes you happy. Life is honest-to-God too short to worry about what people will say or think about you. Richard Bach once said, ‘if your happiness depends on what someone else does, I guess you do have a problem.’

He was right. Trust me, it’s now or never.

See you guys soon.

Love,

Snigdha