Welcome back to my personal corner on the Internet, and to July. By this time–after having barely survived through the first half of the year–most of us have gone back to our old selves, the ones we swore we would change in 2017 (like that ever happens). As far as New Year resolutions go, I’m not very optimistic, because I’m a believer in the ‘now or never’ line of thinking, but I whole-heartedly encourage all others who see the new year as a set of 365 chances that they can take to make their lives better.
Anyway. I digress from the point (as usual).
After six months of 2017 down the drain, if there’s one thing I can say, it’s this: to pick yourself up after a tragedy takes immense amount of strength, and sometimes, it takes a whole lot of time, too. The said tragedy could be anything, but the aftermath of all of them are the same: you feel you are broken on the inside, and nothing (and nobody) can piece you back together.
And you know what? You are right. Nobody else is going to patch you up and fix all the things that are wrong with you; you are going to have to do it yourself. Sure, it may take a ginormous amount of strength, and even more patience (along with sleepless nights, hysterical crying, and yelling at blank air), but you will get there.
A friend once told me that to be able to create a new reality for yourself, you should have the courage to break old patterns and habits. Breaking patterns is how new worlds emerge. It may sound scary, and it should because it is downright the scariest thing you will ever do in your life–giving up the known and familiar for The Unknown. But it needs to be done, and the good news is, you don’t have to do it alone.
We are born alone, we die alone, but we don’t have to fight alone. And take it from someone who has paid a visit to The Dark Side, you don’t need an army to help you back on your feet. Sometimes, having just one person you know will answer your calls at 2 AM when you’re having a breakdown, is more than enough (I love you, Nano). Also, it helps to have someone give you a not-so-subtle reality check, every once in a while.
The point is, things may never be just right, you know? But sometimes, they just get even worse, and you feel like you have lost all reason to live. Dying isn’t really an option, and you are stuck in this ugly place between living and not quite, with no way out. You want answers, you want justice, but most of all, you just want back whatever (or whoever) it is that you lost.
The only thing that you need to believe in at times like these, is this: it gets better. It does. You don’t have to believe me; just look back at your life, and I’m sure you’ll find many moments where you thought your life had ended, and yet, here you are. Hold on to that hope.
Be the phoenix, the one that rises from its own ashes, stronger and more beautiful than ever.
It’s now or never.