Pursuit of Happiness


Yeah, well, you know what happened.

The holiday ended.

Aren’t you sad? You should be. The end of holidays is never a good thing, no matter who you are, where you live, or what you do. Come Monday, I shall be back at college for the Summer Training ish they got going on for four whole weeks. 

Honestly, it is just wrong, making people work like that in the summer. As if the hell-fire-like heat that Delhi is blessed with isn’t enough trouble already.

Anyway.

So, remember how I told you in my last post that this summer is a real busy one? Well, it still is, except that when there are a lot of things to do, the biggest question is where do you start from? I’m just sitting here, the list in my hand, ready to begin, and then suddenly, it hits me: begin from where?

This had me troubled the entire day yesterday, and today morning, I was watching Kalyn Nicholson’s video on YouTube and she said something really simple, yet not: if you want to make people happy, you just have to begin with yourself.

This one threw me for a loop. You know why? Because till date, I can’t pick out a single thing and say, ‘this thing here makes me really, truly happy.’

Which is just plain sad, because in the past year, I’ve tried out so many things to see whether it might be the One Thing that could always make me happy. I’ve even done the extremely unlikely task of hitching rides with someone who (I like to think so) means a lot to me, and even he couldn’t fit the mould, at least not every single day.

If that isn’t heartbreaking, I don’t know what is.

You know, the thing about someone who finds pleasure in the littlest of things is that while they appreciate the small things you do, they may also get hugely offended by the same seemingly little things that you may just do/say without paying attention. It is not always something grand or earth-shattering that may make or break a relationship–and it has nothing to do with how strong or not a person is.

So, that leaves us here: with a single, solitary day to go before college starts back up again (three hours a day, mercifully), and with an entire list’s worth of things to be done. Nano tells me I wait too much: to say things, to do things. And I’m not sure if she’s wrong at all. I do wait: time is something I use at my own leisure, which is maybe not that good a thing to do as I like to believe.

The truth is, the perfect moment that I’m waiting for? Well, it doesn’t exist. No moment is going to be more perfect than the one in which I decide to do whatever the hell it is that I want to do.

 

Like the wise people say, the first few steps are always the hardest.

Let’s see what happens. Currently, I’m reading Jandy Nelson’s I’ll Give You The Sun, and next up is Emery Lord’s When We Collided. The summer reading list is well under way, at least.

I’ll see you guys soon.

Love,

Snigdha

P.S.: Catch all the holiday fun on my Instagram, @snigdharai5! See you there.

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