Hey-lo, my lovelies. *waves*
I’m back from my week long vacation, rejuvenated, and waiting for college to start up again, on Monday. Yeah, I know. Never a free moment in my life.
So, 2016 started a week ago. Another year, another 52 weeks to deal with. Yay, life.
The point is, every year comes bearing its own pros and cons, two equally heavy bags of sorrow and joy, and try however hard you may, some things are just not in your control. I can say this because being the World Class Control Freak I am, I have tried many times (unsuccessfully) to control everything around me, and well, you know how that ends: lots of disappointment, tons of hurt, and of course, quite a handful of broken stuff around the house (you wouldn’t believe how many china figurines/coffee cups I’ve hurled at the wall in anger).
Yeah, stopped doing that about a year ago. No more broken stuff. 😉
Last year hammered a lot of stuff well and good in my brain, and keeping those lessons in mind, I decided to plan a few stuff. Are you ready? Let’s go:
* Stand and deal, there and then: This isn’t anything new, more like the continuation of an ongoing process. I’m hell-bent on mending my escapist ways since the past six/seven months, and there’s still some things left that need attention. Rest assured, I will get it all covered up by the end of this year. This is one promise to myself that I am not breaking, come what may.
Problems and crappy people do not require any more time than it takes for you to make a conscious decision, and then stick to it. There’s absolutely no point in trying to drag things, or worse, ignore them. They grow like weeds, taking over everything, blocking out all the rest. Better nip it in the bud, so to speak.
* No more ‘benefit of the doubt’: Yep, you read it right. No more chances, no more freebies, except for a handful of people who just have the ‘pass of a lifetime’, in Nano’s words. I’ve understood full and well that people do not share the same mindset as me, and there is very little that could even begin to change my own. I’m done making exceptions to my ‘expect respect from people’ rule, considering that each time I did make an exception, I ended up upset, so why even bother?
I don’t owe it to anyone to put up with something I don’t agree with and/or appreciate. It’s going to be very difficult, and I do know that my mind will try to talk me into giving that ‘one more chance’, but I’ll try my best not to.
Let’s just see how this goes down.
* No more taking crap from anyone: I just could never stress it enough how much I need to stop listening to every damn thing that is said to me. Being a writer means I’m always looking for thoughts and ideas around me, and obviously I listen to people, pay attention to them. But when someone misuses that to get into my head the wrong way, God help me.
Let’s just say that it never ends well. Keeping toxic thoughts in your mind, and toxic people in your life, never does.
If I had to choose between a lifetime of solitude and a large group of insincere friends, I’d choose loneliness in a heartbeat. Frankly, a single day is enough to know how my brain works, and if even a year doesn’t do it for you, it’s best you walk away. I’m not afraid of loneliness; that is what protects me.
Been there, done that. 😉
That’s it, for now. There are going to be additions, of course, but these three things are deal-breakers.
I turn 21 this year, and I want to do it the right way, without any old baggage or grudges. Happiness doesn’t come to you, you know. You got to hunt it down, tie it up and throw it over your back, with no intention of letting go.
*grins like she didn’t just paint a violent picture in your head*
God, I’m such a freak, so damn tenacious. Ah, well. Normal is overrated, anyway.