You know what happened, right? Yes, you do.
I read a book. In approximately eleven hours spread over a day and a half. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I don’t know if you’ve read it, or heard about it, but this post isn’t a review of the book. This post is about how the book hits a tad too close to home, emerges too familiar and too distant all at once.
Let’s just say that this book put all those things that I’d been trying to avoid right in front of my eyes. There were parts of this book where I wanted to shut it, and reopen it only when I had someone else by my side because I wanted him to read it too.
You guys remember #Sherene, right? If you do, awesome. If you don’t, flip back to my last post and you’ll know who that is.
As I was saying, Thirteen Reasons Why did what most books/movies/people fail to do: say the truth, and say it loud and clear. It’s about Hannah Baker, a high school girl who killed herself, and about Clay Jensen, one of the thirteen people who received a box of tapes in which Hannah had described what pushed her over the edge, that far.
But Clay isn’t a reason she died; Clay is the sole reason she held on for so long.
Anyway. The thing that got me the most was the communication gap that popped up between Hannah and Clay, despite them attending the same school and working at the same place. Why?
Because both of them couldn’t say what they had on their minds. They did try, every now and then, but they remained unfinished business till the very end. Or, to be precise, till Hannah decided she’d had enough.
They couldn’t say it to each other though, Clay and Hannah. Hannah was scared, already losing out on hope, and Clay was confused, using his quietness as an excuse for not making any move.
See, this is why I keep saying again and again that for destruction and lying, silence is as good a weapon as words. Silence is just a grand metaphor for secrets. Maybe #Sherene appears to be a business relationship because neither of the two people involved want to disturb the delicate balance of it all; I’m sure he agrees, that if we change even a single thing about us, it’ll all just crumble to dust.
But, excuse me. Hold it right there.
Will the fear of endings always keep people from beginning anything in the first place?
For how long, exactly, do I have to live in constant fear of losing someone who, let’s be real here, isn’t mine to begin with?
What bunch of crap.
The heart doesn’t wait. The mind tells it to wait, repeatedly, but the heart doesn’t listen. In fact, it convinces the mind in the end, too.
Stop holding back just because you’re scared. There’s no reason to be.
Stop biting back your words because you’re not sure if anybody’s listening. They are. The world is listening, and you’ll be surprised when you hear someone whisper a reply.
Stop wasting your moments. This life, is probably the only life we’ll ever have.
You know, when this book ended, Clay did something remarkable, almost brave. That’s when it hit me, the million connections between Hannah and Clay, and #Sherene.
Because we might be a bunch of tongue-tied idiots, but we’re definitely remarkable. 😉
So, Thirteen Reasons Why turned out to be a great read, but I wouldn’t recommend it anyone who is not willing to completely shut down everything else and just listen to what Hannah says and Clay listens. It’s not an easy read, maybe because it wasn’t meant to be one. It’s supposed to be a lesson.
I won’t ask you to share your secrets right away, but at least try. There’s got to be someone who will listen.
Do whatever makes you happy. Makes you feel alive.
It’s now or never.