Close your eyes when you’re all alone, with nobody around, no sound to be heard. Do you hear anything? Of course you do.
Silence is so freaking loud.
It’s what fills up the void when there are no words left to say, or hear. It’s impossible not to hear it.
I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, when somebody is incredibly straightforward with what’s on their mind, and prefer to just say it and not hold back, I find it very reassuring. What’s not reassuring is the situation when the said person suddenly falls silent, choosing to keep it in and not let go.
You just know, at that moment, that maybe all is not well in paradise, after all.
I have too many reasons for writing this post, but strangely, none of them make sense. Just a bunch of words and incomplete sentences. But more than those indecipherable words, it’s the silence that’s bothering me.
Frankly, I’m a fairly talkative person. I like to speak what’s on my mind, and I have a habit of wondering out aloud in front of any number of people. Same thing applies for situations when I’m angry. Like if I’m mad at my sister, or my mother, or any of my friends, I tell them that.
I complain (loudly), maybe throw a few tantrums if I’m feeling too childish, or even stop talking to them for a short while, depending upon the degree of the issue (mostly it’s just Isha telling me to shut up on social media, or neither of them listening to me when we’re talking on group chat).
This is normal me. This is a sign that however mad or infuriated I may seem to be at the moment, it will all go away, probably even before the day is over. And it does.
But there are times when none of these things happen. Those are probably the situations where something affects me way more than it should, or somebody hurts me real bad. Like twist-a-knife-in-your-gut bad, when nothing seems right or sane.
That’s when the quiet begins.
You know, sometimes there’s just nothing left to say. You could be the world’s best orator, but there will always come a time in your life that all words fall short, and you have to just stay put. That’s what I do.
I don’t talk when I’m hurt/upset/really angry. It’s absolutely still. Total radio silence.
The reason I do this is because I believe (or used to believe, anyway), that everyone has a conscience, and maybe someday they’ll wake up and realize that whatever they say or do has the potential to do some serious damage. But of course, it doesn’t happen. I keep hoping that things might get better without me having to be the first one to apologize/start a conversation/get-down-on-my-knees-and-beg, but it never happens.
It just doesn’t.
Maybe that’s what scares me the most about silence: most people don’t even hear it, let alone understand it.
I just hope that one day, somebody would be brave enough to understand my silence. That’s all that it would take to win me over. No kidding.
Oh-kay! Too serious, right? 😛
But since I knew you would listen, I wrote it anyway. 😀
This is what I found on Tumblr yesterday. It took my breath away, seriously.
Ah, the forbidden love. So cliché and yet we can’t seem to have enough of it.
Anyway, I have to go now. Duty calls. But I’ll see you tomorrow again with my new Life4Ways post, so stay in touch! 😀
I’ll see all of you awesome people soon. You know I love you. ♥
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Collab Blog: http://www.lifefourways.wordpress.com