This time, it is not a joke. A lot of stuff to say, many observations to discuss and, oh yes, a new name for me – which is not very new, because people have called me with that name many times before – is what I have in store for you.
So, shall we?
As you may know, I have a hard time getting involved (romantically) with anyone, as I have my own issues with the male persuasion – which aren’t new, given that someone hurt be real bad some years back, and I’ve never really been able to get out of it.
I think my plight is best conveyed through this little story I wrote ‘Sing To Me In My Dreams’. I suggest you read this first, and then go ahead with this post, because it is always better to know the background beforehand. [Click on the name to open the story]
So now, assuming that you’ve read the above piece of fiction, I’ll continue:
One, I think I’m cursed or something. Every time I think I’ve finally got something (or someone) I really want to be with, it just doesn’t work out. The first time I tried, the guy turned out to be a total bohunk with zero regard for anyone else’s sentiments.
The second time, my bad luck resulted into someone’s death – and I fully blame myself for what happened.
I know I’m no one to decide whether I am cursed or not, but still – how can I ignore the facts? I mean, hey, bad things happen with everybody, but not always in the same pattern and for the same reason. Now most of you would think I’m paranoid for declaring myself as a bad omen, but whatever. Honestly, I don’t think that’s a bad thing, either. I’ve always been the black sheep of the lot when it came to relations other than family love and friendship.
I guess know I’ll be a little more careful. I shouldn’t have let down my guard in the first place. Could’ve saved a life, probably.
You have no idea how people have reacted to all that I’ve been through. A very good friend of mine said, ‘I don’t think there’s anything new in that. You are the witch of bad romance, Snigdha.’
Beat that, can you? I see people have no limits of degrading themselves. What the hell is wrong with them? Creepy bunch of losers.
You know, if you cannot help me, I sure as hell don’t need your crap. So just get on with it. I’ve had enough nonsense already. I can handle myself well, but a little motivation helps – with the condition that the motivation isn’t an infuriating lecture on ‘unavoidable circumstances’.
I’m hooked to this song by Blue Oyster Cult, and haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since I heard it in Supernatural. And oh, that reminds me, I figured out why I’m suddenly addicted to the show too – because I understand Sam Winchester’s feelings. He thinks he’s cursed too, because he lost his mom and his girlfriend, and couldn’t do a thing about it.
Now, would you still say I’m the only one who has self-destructive and pessimistic thoughts? I know Supernatural is fiction, but there’s a very fine line between story and reality.
Anyways, here’s the video of ‘Burnin’ For You’ :
Got to take your leave now. Enough ranting for the day.