Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age.
The child is grown, and puts away childish things.
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.
– Edna St. Vincent Millay
I know I’ve spoken a lot about my birthday which is due on October 5th, mainly because it is my sixteenth. But I don’t think I’m actually turning that age. At least, I don’t feel like it.
Every time I look at myself in the mirror, only then do I see the sixteen-years-old girl I’m supposed to be. Or when I’m talking to my kid sister (who is five, by the way). Or when I’m taking care of things, or doing things like cooking breakfast, or going around the city (which, unfortunately, includes going to the tuition and back).
But the rest of the time, I’m still . . . . me. The same person who loves sitting in front of the television watching ‘Bones‘ and ‘Teen Wolf‘ simultaneously. The one who always delays math homework because she finds it dull due to the lack of colours in the textbook. That is who I am— and I somehow get the feeling that once I step into my seventeenth year, I would never be able to be the same.
I mean, everyone expects me to ‘grow up’, right? Be responsible, practical and, in some ways, heartless?
Newsflash: I am responsible! I take care of everything around me if it needs to be looked after. I am ready for change, but not the ones who would ask me to abandon my ways of life and be something I’m not. I admit I cannot stay like this forever, but some things do not change overnight. Especially not with me.
I don’t fear anything; not even death. Then why is it that the fear of stepping into the Unknown is driving me nuts? I guess I know why.
Because I want to stay forever young. Like Peter Pan. 🙂
Forget them Wendy, forget them all. Come with me where you’ll never, ever have to worry about grown up things again!
And I can easily blame this song of One Direction for it! 😉 Here’s what I’m talking about (it isn’t an official video, but the song is the one that matters, so… ;))
It feels like inside my heart and mind, I’m still the innocent, dazed, nine-year-old girl who was capable of having fun in every mundane situation; and will continue to be like that till the end of time.